Text 22 Apr 890,903 notes







on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

Photo 22 Apr 11,724 notes
Text 22 Apr 827 notes




interested in a white boy? ask him how he feels about reverse racism and affirmative action first


both are myths created by the Zionist World Government to enslave humanity

I was sittin here laughing to myself like I bet this nerd be wearin bow ties and whew was I not disappointed in the slightest

Audio 22 Apr 22,719 notes

(Source: sistergeek)

Played 111,721 times. via OH..
Video 22 Apr 3,696 notes



Dasypeltis sp.

Snakes are weirdos in the best possible way.

Video 22 Apr 53,333 notes



There has only been five female characters comfirmed playable compared to fifteen male characters.

I’m amazed at those exact numbers because 33% is the point where men will start thinking there’s a majority of women in a group.

Photo 22 Apr 1,130 notes

(Source: sarah-blueberry)

Video 22 Apr 38,882 notes
Text 22 Apr 63,831 notes


*steps into shower*

*forgets to remove eyeliner*

*steps out of shower*

*Joins The Black Parade*

Text 22 Apr 44,808 notes




You spin me right round baby


Right round like a record baby


Right round round round


everyone is dead

via .
Quote 22 Apr 75,660 notes
Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.
Video 22 Apr 72,479 notes


This is my new favorite thing in the history of life

(Source: yay--stefon)

Text 22 Apr 222,491 notes


if you want my legs to be shaved every day then you can do it for me and ill see how long it takes for you to not care anymore

Photo 22 Apr 66,051 notes

(Source: quevidamastriste)

Video 22 Apr 74,103 notes

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